#sat there for the entire day 8 am to 5 pm with the biggest anxiety freeze i've ever had KJLHDFGK

[strawbebyjam]

unexpected kindness after unintended vulnerability. yeah.

[starlightnakamoto]

She Knows • Yuta Nakamoto

Member: Yuta x Reader

Genre: angst / fluff / smut / slow-burn / mystery

Warnings: Language, Drugs, Alcohol/Cigarette Use

Summary: You needed to find a way to raise money to find somewhere to stay. Little did you know it had to be through becoming a stripper at the biggest club in town, owned by the ceo himself. He’s not only a ceo though. Only at night he was.

Chapter 5

Soft lips were trailing all over. From your jawline to your collarbone, you felt the stars in you lighting up in a way you never felt before.

“More.. please”, you kept begging, not getting enough when you wanted all of him.

His hands were getting to know each part of you as you kept his name at a whisper, afraid if anyone would hear.

Two star-crossed lovers had become one through lips and you felt things heating up more.

“Yuta.. I need you”.

“So greedy.. I’m making you a fucking mess aren’t I?”, he smirked, looking up from where he was marking what’s his on your collarbone.

The moment started to fade along with the colors and his touch.

You didn’t want it to end but too late.

The blaring sound from your phone alarm had woken you up from the bittersweet dream you had so longed for.

You groaned into the now familiar pillow of the motel room you were staying in.

8:15 am. Today was show day.

Finally you were gonna get your first paycheck and could start seeing your dream be opposite from black & white.

You did the usual & went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. After getting out, you dried your body & curled up hair in a rose towel and went to get dressed.

You put on baggy silver pants & a crop tee, even though later you would be changing into the real outfit for tonight.

You & Ten had been anticipating all week to see what you two would look like on stage.

After putting on hoops and a final shape of lip gloss, you left the motel, this time with all your things.

It was time to find a new place after today and with the money you’d get you wouldn’t pass the opportunity.

The train ride to the Nakamoto Club was usually quiet & filled with only the mind being loud.

Ride by Lana Del Rey was blasting through your headphones as you tapped your hands against the foggy window.

I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast, I am alone in the night. Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I

I've got a war in my mind…

—

You arrived to your stop and made your way to your destination.

As you climbed up the hollow steps, you headed to Room 1026 to meet up with everyone else even if everyone to you was mainly Ten.

You walked in and immediately were greeted by a slim pair of tan arms but with a body that radiated warmth for you.

“Y/N!!”, Ten gleefully cheered while ruffing your hair up and leading your hand to where you two would usually sit.

“It feels like forever since I saw you, I missed my best friend,” he pouted as he did his usual habit of playing with your hands.

“We just saw each other yesterday before you left me alone with—”

“Yuta!! Oh my god, tell me everything now. How big was it—“

“Ten!!”, you rolled your eyes, softly hitting his arm. “We just spoke for a bit and got to know each other’s names.. nothing else I promise.”

“Aghhh Y/N!! I tossed and turned all night just wondering if a moment finally happened with you two. I didn’t leave you in there for nothing—“

“Well a moment did happen..”, you cut him off as you played with the rings on his sculpted hands.

“Well tell me the moment.. I got my popcorn out and everything”

“Well it wasn’t much but it’s just the way how he looked at me like he already saw through me. Like I know it’s fast and all but I swear you could feel some—“

“Connection?”, a different voice had blurted out.

Oh shit. You had felt your whole face heat up into one color of crimson.

“Yuta—“

“Ten I think this is yours.. you uhh left it here yesterday”, he smirked like the bastard he was seeing the color you were, as he handed him his water bottle and walked back to the front.

He too was flustered but tried hiding it.

Ten had thrown his head back and squealed into your arm as you sat there with your mouth open.

“I don’t know what just happened but girl I’m loving whatever kdrama yall got going on”, he nonstop said between laughs, trying to catch his breath.

“Yeah yeah okay. Keep laughing, you’ll be crying later when that happens to you one day”, you rolled your eyes as your cheeks were still flushed and playfully flipped him off.

Your bestfriend kept teasing you for the rest the day about the most embarrassing moment of your life and you couldn’t wait till it happened to him later.

—

The night started getting closer and everyone was getting ready.

We got to our dressing rooms and staff was rushing around everywhere, helping with makeup, lights, outfits or what not.

It was all going so fast but he didn’t leave your mind, which brought you to the thought.. where was Yuta?

“He was there for most of the day but he seemed to have left”, a staff had told you while doing your eyes a bright shade of glitter red. “What can you say? He’s a busy man”.

You had hoped he would appear to see the performance you guys had worked so hard on, at least. After all, he helped with most of the moves.

7:30 pm

You started to feel more adrenaline as your first time performing is coming sooner than you think.

You had your makeup done & your outfit had shaped your body well. It was a crimson color built up of a corset with fishnets that made you feel self-conscious but everyone else had wore the same in various colors so you tried to feel at ease.

Looking up from your phone you heard “Damn Y/N!!”, from the now familiar cheery voice of Ten. “Girl you look amazing whatt!!”.

With the continuous praises you got & telling you to do a 360, you kept looking down getting all shy. He really was the only one of the dancers who made you feel at home.

Ten was wearing a see through black long-sleeved shirt with patterns on the front which had perfectly fit his figure & leather pants. It almost even turned you on.

His eyes were batted with sparkling black eyeshadow and wavy designs around it.

“The show is starting soon.. have you heard from him yet?”, he had asked as you two sat back down at your parlors.

“Nope. I’m just hoping he’ll show up at this point. I mean he has to after all the hardwork he’s done for us.”, you sighed while applying a cherry flavored lipgloss.

“He should. Lisa’s here, Johnny, everyone. It’s a big night, especially for you Ms. Yuta..”, he had chuckled looking in the mirror while fixing his combed back hair.

“Let’s not get too ahead now. We don’t even know his last name”, you admired how stunning you looked, pleading in your mind that he would consider coming.

“Yea.. weird but whatever”, he pondered but then decided to change the subject and apply final touches as you did the same.

—

8:25 pm

“We’re on in 5 minutes ladies!! Start wrapping it up and head backstage now”, Lisa had commanded everyone passing by each row of parlors.

“This bitch always forgets I’m here too”, Ten sighed, getting up from his seat.

You chuckled following with “C’mon my lady”, as you two linked arms to head backstage.

Showtime

Your nerves finally were kicking in as you had no idea how your first performance would play out. You just had hoped it would all go well after busting your ass to learn it for the past week.

When your group’s name was called on stage, you started recalling all the memories from the day you first got here. So much had happened already and you weren’t here for that long yet but you felt like you had. The places you were getting used to.. the faces that became familiar.

To see yourself doing all you can to get to that dance dream of yours, that was home. You knew all your hardwork would pay off one day and you were excited for it.

You got to your spot up in the back as you climbed up the shimmering steps on stage in your platforms, trying your best to see the taped X’s glowing in the dark to find your spot. You got into position as Ten got into his which was further down your row.

Lights of flashing black and white came on that then faded into color hue as the song started.

You know, from the moment she turn around.

She know, how to back it up and drop it down

She know, she what all the fellas looking at

'Cause they know, soon as her song come on it's a wrap.

You had been mirroring the moves everyone else had been doing as the chorus was building up.

And she loves the attention

That she get when she moves, yeah

Showin' out with her home girls

Hypnotizing all the dudes, oh

And she knows.

Even as a back dancer, you had felt confident in how good you were doing and living it up in moment that you hadn’t realized Yuta did show up.

But him also being Mr. Nakamoto, he had sat near the back blending in with the other people sitting on the barstools.

“You seem to come here often. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were Mr. Nakamoto himself”, bartender Jaehyun had remarked with a small laugh as he wiped the bar and served more drinks to customers. “In that case, welcome.”

Yuta was in a gaze as Jaehyun’s words were only muffles to him, trying to set his eyes on you even if you were blended in by other dancers.

You looked so beautiful right then and there even from far. The lights had illuminated your entire beint and made you feel like you were the only dancer in the room to him.

It was all going so well right up until after the chorus that Rosé had tripped you.

You knew something was up when Lisa had asked Ten and Rosé to switch spots before show day.

The music had continued but there was gasps throughout the crowd that led you to rush down the steps and back to the dressing room.

Hot tears were running down your face as you sat in your chair that had faced the mirror & violently threw off your platforms.

You had a bloody gash on your knee from the trip but other than that you just tried to breathe amidst your anxiety attack.

Yuta had noticed later in the dance that you were gone and was starting to worry as well.

You felt too embarrassed to wait till the performance was over to find Ten or just see anyone.

You had picked up some wipes laying around the lights framing the mirror and starting to wipe off the canvas that had been painted earlier on your face.

“It’s just a fall, quit crying Y/N”, that voice in your head telling you on a loop.

Mascara tears kept streaming down but you just hurried up the process so you could grab your things and head on out in the back.

You kept getting flushed at the embarrassed moment that kept replaying in your head and just wanted it all to be erased. Possibly to even just go home and forget you came here. You knew your family & few friends was worried sick from all the missed calls as well.

You were from Cloud City, a small town that not many knew about with only black & white surroundings. It wasn’t anything like Blossom City, with all the colorful lights everywhere and endless people with stories in them filling the streets.

You had come from a complete different area, all opposite from this.

After all you were a dancer, not a dancer for these types of clubs.

You went through the back door and droplets had hit you which progressed more as you walked further to the nearest bus stop.

You still had your outfit on but with a coat over it and your heels in your hands. You didn’t feel like going on the subway with the way you looked this time so the bus it is.

You pulled out a lighter to light up your cigarette as you had stayed hovered under the stop. The rain was making it harder for it to light up so you occasionally blurted curses under your lip with the paper between it.

As you let out the first puff into the foggy night air, you coughed a bit but felt more at ease. You were still new to this as you had picked up the habit from Ten.

Before the next bus arrived, you had realized you didn’t get your first performance’s pay and panicked at the thought of literally having nowhere to stay at tonight.

Suddenly a white polished Benz had pulled up with the passenger window rolling down to greet you with a face that had made the familiar flush come back to your cheeks.

Usually he wouldn’t greet any of his dancers at this time of the day with the work he had going on but here he was with his one hand on the wheel and other waving at you.

“Hop in”, was all it took for you to drop everything and forget your thoughts for the rest of the night.

0.1, 0.2, 0.3, 0.4, 0.5

[krnaturalphoto]

Local Flyers Exhibit

One of my favorite things in life has become working on art projects with my dad. We do different types of art, I’m a photographer and he’s a painter, so we don’t really work together so much but we show each other our work and talk about things we like about each other’s work. From time to time one of us will have an art exhibit and we often help each other hang our exhibits.

I love spending time hanging an art exhibit with my dad. It’s time consuming and it can be tedious at times but it is just a nice occasion to hang out and talk about art and specifically really boring things about art. Things that probably no other humans on earth could care about, except maybe other artist. My dad is a much better planner than I am when it comes to putting up an exhibit. He completes scale drawings of the exhibit space and then maps out where he wants each peace to be before we even arrive. We unpack the art together. We set it out in the exhibit space according to where it is planned to be hung.

Then the real excitement begins. We start hanging paintings on the wall!!! Conversations center on, how high should the artwork be hung from the floor to make it easiest to look at. This painting, Higher or lower? Is this painting level? Do we need to adjust the spacing of the paintings on that wall? Are they too close together or too spaced out? What about that one? And we have the same conversations over and over. We talk about all kinds of little minutiae surrounding the creation and presentation of art.

I also love hearing my dad talk to others about his work. His passion about his art is evident when he talks to others about his paintings.

I helped my dad set up his exhibit and then I went for the exhibits opening. One thing that I like to do is photograph our art exhibits. I often take some standard shots showing the art on display. Then I like to take some more creative photographs to alter the perspective of the art on display or focus in on one aspect of a larger painting and isolate a small detail as if that was the entire image.

I always enjoy talking to my dad about art, his art, my art, other artist’s art. It just comes so naturally between us. I wish I had this level of comfort talking about my art or artwork in general with other people. I often feel like this is one of my biggest struggles in my creative pursuits. I love photography and have real passion about what I do and the subjects I photograph but I am completely uncomfortable talking to most people especially people I do not know about just about any aspect of my creative life. I don’t know if I have ever even referred to myself as a photographer when talking to someone I did not previously know. This is one of the biggest ways I struggle with anxiety in my everyday life.

I don’t think I would ever call hanging an art exhibit fun, but it can be enjoyable and it was just the kind of day I needed.

Local Flyers: A Solo Exhibition by Rod Reynolds will open on Friday, February 7, from 5 – 8 pm at Tioga Arts Council, 179 Front Street, Owego. On Thursday, February 20, Reynolds will give an “Artist Talk” at TAC beginning at 7:00 pm at 179 Front Street. That evening, the artist will share his artistic training, motivations, and processes. This talk is free and open to the public.

Local Flyers will be on display from February 7 – 29 on T. – Sat. 11 am – 4 pm or by appointment.

from Local Flyers Exhibit